The below was supposed to be my very first blog post on this site and was written exactly 1 year and a few months ago from today. I’m posting it now as a reminder to myself how great God truly is; to see how I felt a year ago compared to how I’m feeling today is truly amazing. Whatever you are going through today, I hope somehow this post inspires you to pray and no matter what keep giving God thanks even as you are going through a storm.
1 year ago…..
I knew I wanted to start a blog about something I was passionate about such as fashion, food, music, and entertainment. Truth is, I struggled with what my actual first post would be about; what can I say to seem cool, fun, and flirty to attract readers or what elegant picture could I feature to captivate the eyes of potential viewers. But, after digging deep down I realized that I wanted my first post to be raw and authentic, about something I’ve never written about before. Almost 5 months ago I felt as if my world had ended; I felt weak, hurt, rejected, depressed, lonely, and that I would never recover from the pain that festered in my heart. I searched for answers to heal my pain by looking for comfort in the words of others, even finding myself asking those whom I would never turn to for advice. It took me 4 1/2 months, but then I finally realized the answers to the feeling of happiness, joy, and love that I was seeking couldn’t be given to me by anyone that I knew, nor by the comfort of a magazine article, or inspirational quote. The answers I was seeking could only be given by one source, God.
After, wondering for months why God allowed this to happen to me; I finally realized a couple of things (not on my own). Everything that had happened to me, God allowed it to happen because he had a greater purpose for me; He wanted me to get closer to him. To do this, he had to break me and strip me of what I thought had brought me happiness, joy, and love. It wouldn’t be the people in my life, the material things of this world, or the amount of money in my bank account; it would and could only be him. I would be lying if I said that this process was fun because it wasn’t, but I’ve learned that by reading scriptures and taking the time each day to pray to him for my needs that I’m finding comfort, happiness, joy, and love in his words and most importantly in him.
I’m starting to learn how to pray again, not just meaningless prayers that we recite every day such as the one we say before dinner, but actual strategic prayers. What I mean by that is truly asking God for what I need in detail, surrendering to him, and trusting him to deliver on his promises. That’s the only way I’ve been able to bounce back one day at a time and that’s how I’m able to even write this post. I will continue to seek him and will continue to pray because I know my prayers and my requests won’t go unanswered for the Lord said “Ask and you shall receive”. Please see below for three scriptures that reference this:
“Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them” – Mark 11:24
“Ask, and it shall be given unto you, seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you” – Matthew 7:7
“Delight yourself also in the Lord and he shall give you the desires of your heart” – Psalms 37:4
I’ve learned that prayer and seeking God are the true keys to living a life full of joy, happiness, and love. I never thought I would be able to say this after looking back at what an emotional mess I was 5 months ago (actually 2 weeks ago), that I’m actually looking forward to 2016 because I know God has a greater purpose for my future and my present; I truly can’t wait!